


Wendigo

by Asterisk



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Cannibalism, Community: twd_kinkmeme, Gen, Pre-Canon, Starvation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2018-02-05 16:52:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1825399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asterisk/pseuds/Asterisk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first meal.</p><p>Written before the revelation of what happened to Terminus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wendigo

Amelia hadn’t left the camper since Gareth returned with the news of Brett’s death. He couldn’t blame her for that; grief was a hard pill to swallow in the best of circumstances, and harder still when the person lost was one of the few loved ones you had left. He couldn’t fault her for her reaction.

Even so, Gareth had figured the smell of what would soon be the first meal they’d had in weeks would be enough to draw her out.

Already, Theresa and her sons had gathered around the fire opposite to where Gareth stood, the younger Adam wrapped tight under his mother’s arm and the older Blair sitting on his knees inches away from the flames. His eyes were wide and watching the fire licking the meat, slowly cooking it.

Gareth smiled down at the teenager. It took Blair a moment to notice, but once he did, he quickly sat back on his hands and looked away, embarrassed at how he had been lusting after the food.

“You did well today,” Theresa said. She hugged Adam tighter against her side and smiled up at him.

“Say that to me after you finished eating it,” Gareth said as he pulled the hand grill back from the open flames and tested to see how done the meat was. If it was too well done it would end up being impossibly chewy and difficult to digest, especially after they’d gone so long without food. They’d all probably reached the point of starvation a long time ago, so reintroducing food would have to be done carefully, and would have to be done with something that could be digested. Still, it needed to be well done – there was no room for error with meat like this.

“What is it?” Blair asked.

“It’s venison,” Gareth said. “Aren’t we lucky? Hey, Alex, would you mind going to get Amelia?”

“Yessir,” Alex said. He climbed to his feet and walked off to where the van was parked out about twenty feet away from the fire. Gareth watched as Alex went inside, then set the food down on a fold up table and begin to divide the meat.

There needed to be six plates now, he reminded himself before he accidentally grabbed seven plates out of habit. There were only six of them now.

He was just starting to hand the plates out when Alex came back with Amelia in tow, the whites of her eyes tinted red; the grief that drove her to retreat to a place where she could be alone wasn’t enough to compete with starvation in the face of a promised meal. Gareth handed them each a plate as they took a seat around the fire.

Theresa made sure each of her children had their plates before she tucked into her own food. “Thank you again, Gareth,” she said as she took a bite of her food, then hesitated.

“Anything for you guys,” he said. He gave her a smile.

“You have less than the rest of us,” she said.

“Theresa’s right,” Amelia said. “Noticeably less, actually. Do you want some of mine?”

He glanced around at their plates. No one had much, but his portion was closer to what he’d given Adam than the amount the adults had. Given how hungry they all were, it came nowhere near looking like enough to satisfy anyone, and it was very likely that it wasn’t.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. He poked the meat with his fork and carefully began to cut the small portion into even smaller pieces.

“Are you sure?” she asked. “Really, it’s not a problem – you deserve it more than anyone.”

“Please,” Gareth said. He tried not to meet Amelia’s eyes. “I don’t think I could stomach more than this tonight, anyway.”

As he went to take a bite he remembered Amelia’s grief stricken face when he told her about her boyfriend’s death, and the look on Brett’s face before he died, and the moment he saw that Brett had found a can of food and was trying to pocket it without letting him see.

Gareth wasn’t sure what surprised him more: how quickly he’d turned on Brett once he realized the other man had something to eat, or how easy it was to kill him, even in his starved, famished state.

And he gorged himself on that can of food. Fucking ravioli. Fucking Brett, trying to keep it for himself – but Gareth didn’t have the right to talk like that. His first thought hadn’t been of selfless heroics; it had been raw, animalistic hunger that needed to be satisfied and left no room for any other cognitive thought.

Somewhere inside him, something was already digesting, and now he was swallowing the remains of a man who, up until today, he’d considered a friend.

And yet, there was no shame. Guilt, perhaps, for what he’d done in the moment in which he’d lost himself, but shame? What did he have to be ashamed of? Around him everyone was eating, and for the first time their makeshift camp had fallen into a silence that didn’t stem directly from the seemingly eternal starvation that had left them all weak and lethargic. There was food, and it was because of him.

One by one, everyone finished their meal and the silence ebbed around them. Blair continued to stare at his now empty plate, having licked his plate clean. If Gareth had any less self-control, he’d have done the same, even if it was just meat juice that would probably stain the plate. Amelia with her knees touching, looking forlornly across the fire at the RV behind the men, Alex at his right, and Theresa sat with her arm wrapped around Adam, who now rested his head on his mother.

“You can have more tomorrow,” Theresa said to Blair.

“I’m still hungry now,” he told her.

“You have to wait,” Gareth said to him, speaking up for the first time in a while. His own plate, now empty, rested on his lap.

“I don’t see why,” Blair said, disheartened. “You said there’s more food, didn’t you? Why didn’t you bring more of it back with you?”

“You can’t eat too much too soon after being this hungry,” Gareth said. “Your body won’t be used to it, and it’ll shut down.”

Blair looked like he had more to say on the matter, but he slumped forward and leaned his bony elbows on his knees. 

This is what’s left of us. These are the people you’re trying to save.

The night before there had been seven, and now, there were six.

He glanced at Adam, possibly the youngest survivor in the whole world who had barely been pushing seven when they’d first met. That kid was alive another day because of him.

There were no regrets for what he’d done.

**Author's Note:**

> For [this](http://twd-kinkmeme.livejournal.com/5396.html?thread=7668244#t7668244) kink meme prompt.
> 
> I took inspiration from the song [Prowl Great Cain](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j47lkX6WtHA) by The Mountain Goats.


End file.
